Sometime Late Last Night

She lay on her single bed, staring at the revolving ceiling fan revolve the life out of itself. Dusk was falling onto her window, but it wasn't orange today. The empty patterns seeped into the shadows of mismatched furniture. There was a great sound, almost a cacophony of natural beings colliding. That's when it started. The rain, it fell in tubs and buckets, straight down. Behind it, everything was gray.


She ran downstairs, towards the end of the house that burst open into an empty field. The balcony overlooking it was empty. Inviting. She slid open the glass door, took one last glance at the prissiness of the not-really-lived-in living room and stepped onto the wet deck. She gasped out loud, the cold caught her by surprise. She removed her glasses that gave her sight, and stood at the edge. Without her vision, everything she saw merged into each other. The road was a still, gray pond. The grass was the sky. Her body quivered in torment, but her soul was in a punishing sort of mood. The rain filled up her already heavy mind, refusing to spill over. She looked back, at no one, and saw her father.
'You look beautiful standing there'.
' Do you remember you used to make us walk for miles in the rain? Barefoot at times?'
He smiled, a lazy adult smile, and left.



There is an empty spot just beneath her gaze, where she would place a cardboard cutout of Romeo. She thinks of dissolving herself and then having him swim in her.
'God is in the rain'

Happiness will come to me when he's ready.

-

there, there baby
its just textbook stuff
its in the A, B, C of growing up

now, now, darling
oh don't kill yourself
cuz none of us were angels
and you know i love you,
yeah

this is so you won't forget me

hi.