alter ego

2011-08-06T21:58:00.000-07:00

stop bitching, nobody cares.

to forever running in concentric circles

2010-05-17T19:19:00.000-07:00

He speaks, yet no words come out. He dreams, but his eyes are wide awake. The shadows on his face are filled with rays of lamp light. He shivers, and is suddenly sweating profusely. I stroke his hair to calm him down.

He does not.

images used: my own.

2009-10-06T14:38:00.001-07:00

people befuddle me. should i care?

i think i'll just wait for him to come back to tell me the answer.

human behavior

2009-09-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

The city is his lover, he does not sleep till she is by his side. He kisses her fairy lights and sea sounds when she's not looking. Plays with her borders when the sun dances on her horizon. She will reward him from time to time with sometimes rain and situational prose. He will leave, find temporary solace in others, but he knows she is waiting. She will always be waiting.

2009-09-08T18:22:00.000-07:00

people are fragile things, you should know by now.

be careful what you put them through.

mhmm.

2009-09-05T14:16:00.000-07:00

Zh* says:

this is going to be classic.

if it happens.

Mani says:

no ifs.

we'll make it happen.

Zh* says:

*cross fingers hope to die?*

Mani says:

no.

get out wallet, pay for fucking good times, enjoy fucking good times.

2009-08-30T16:53:00.000-07:00

She broke his heart, right there in the dark, in plain view of anyone who was watching. Then she crossed her legs and chain-smoked for about 2 hours.

(the space between your words)

2009-08-26T20:29:00.000-07:00

tried to reach deep
but you couldn't get in
now you're outside me
you see all the beauty
repent all your sin.

Balconies are Blessings

2009-08-17T19:48:00.000-07:00

Today is write with pencil day. There is a paper ballerina dancing in the window, to the tune of traffic and the raag music belting from my speakers.

'Well, I know you like the attention, but there has to be something more to it than that'

There is.

Delicate fingers that tell the stories and coconut skins. The hair falling on the face is a well-practiced technique. It has caught your attention in ways that make me want to sing in foreign tongue. It doesn't have to be anything more than you, me and the tree, you know. Miles apart, windows make life accessible.

The North Star glares down at people holding hands, lying, cheating, stealing, smoking.

Sometime Late Last Night

2009-07-23T18:43:00.000-07:00

She lay on her single bed, staring at the revolving ceiling fan revolve the life out of itself. Dusk was falling onto her window, but it wasn't orange today. The empty patterns seeped into the shadows of mismatched furniture. There was a great sound, almost a cacophony of natural beings colliding. That's when it started. The rain, it fell in tubs and buckets, straight down. Behind it, everything was gray.

She ran downstairs, towards the end of the house that burst open into an empty field. The balcony overlooking it was empty. Inviting. She slid open the glass door, took one last glance at the prissiness of the not-really-lived-in living room and stepped onto the wet deck. She gasped out loud, the cold caught her by surprise. She removed her glasses that gave her sight, and stood at the edge. Without her vision, everything she saw merged into each other. The road was a still, gray pond. The grass was the sky. Her body quivered in torment, but her soul was in a punishing sort of mood. The rain filled up her already heavy mind, refusing to spill over. She looked back, at no one, and saw her father.
'You look beautiful standing there'.
' Do you remember you used to make us walk for miles in the rain? Barefoot at times?'
He smiled, a lazy adult smile, and left.

There is an empty spot just beneath her gaze, where she would place a cardboard cutout of Romeo. She thinks of dissolving herself and then having him swim in her.
'God is in the rain'

Happiness will come to me when he's ready.

2009-07-19T18:40:00.001-07:00

2009-07-18T11:49:00.000-07:00

there, there baby
its just textbook stuff
its in the A, B, C of growing up

now, now, darling
oh don't kill yourself
cuz none of us were angels
and you know i love you,
yeah

this is so you won't forget me

2009-07-15T15:45:00.000-07:00

hi.

nude

2009-05-20T05:50:00.000-07:00

An extraordinary thing happened last night.
I was almost asleep, watching the orange street lights flowing through my open blinds and making shadows on my closed white door. I was in a state of rest, eyes half open and half closed..and then..Oedipus came to me. Along with Hermes, Horace, Dionysus, Venus and Jocasta. They each recited something sacred to me in Ancient Greek, and I stared in wonder and awe at who's presence I was in. Then it was my turn, and they asked me to recite what I knew. 'Come child, show us'.
So I recited to Ayat-ul-Kursi.
And they all disappeared.

2009-04-15T21:36:00.000-07:00

My baby's got the bends
We don't have any real friends
I'm just lying in a bar with my drip feed on
Talking to my girlfriend
Waiting for something to happen
And I wish it was the sixties
I wish I could be happy
I wish
I wish
I wish that something would happen

2009-03-25T20:52:00.000-07:00

we're just a million little gods causing rain storms turning every good thing to rust.

2009-03-06T06:41:00.000-08:00

houses move and houses speak
if you take me then you'll get
relief
relief

the raindrops

2009-02-26T20:57:00.001-08:00

Time is like a juicy tomato-flavored nail polish trapped in a tiny bottle waiting to come out and hurt the eyes. 5:52 pm and I just want to pass out.
Constant CAPS typing and broken promises of never going to bed angry all melt away into a silvery liquid when you stroke my hair and tell me how beautiful I really am.

2009-01-31T22:00:00.000-08:00

i can spin a story
better than yo mama's pancakes

2009-01-23T10:14:00.001-08:00

carve your name into my arm
instead of stressed, i lie here charmed.

be constructive with your blues

2009-01-13T22:35:00.000-08:00

The heartache did not come from the fact that pseudo-love had been lost. It did not spring from the fact that another stupid, silly boy had not realized her worth. It came from that fact that he did. It was hard being reminded of your place in the world. No, you are not all that, no, you may not have everything your way, no, you're not really as beautiful or amazing or intelligent or mysterious as you think you are.
That is what was hard to get over, and not the actual boy.

2009-01-13T22:20:00.000-08:00

We gladly run in circles
But the shape we meant to make is gone

100th post

2009-01-03T18:36:00.001-08:00

i'm wearing your silver chain, sla.

suckage

2008-12-29T18:09:00.000-08:00

first we used to cry because of mom and dad
now we cry cuz we've become them.

2008-12-28T08:03:00.000-08:00

dreams on fire

old, i know. deal.

2008-12-27T00:26:00.001-08:00

what is closed behind the eyes of a fallen angel?
apparently, nothing.
apparently, nothing at all.

mother

2008-12-23T08:06:00.000-08:00

Es tut mir leid.

...

nobody loves me, its true.

2008-12-18T21:11:00.000-08:00

not like you do.

girlies =)

2008-12-06T23:25:00.000-08:00

T : ' There are always people who are going to be judgemental, and ignorant and just plain stupid. As long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and not wince, you'll be fine'
A : ' Yeah that day is gonna be like...fuck I'm pregnant'.
all of us: HAHAHAHHAHAHHA

2008-11-27T22:58:00.000-08:00

i'm so Robert Pattinson-ed right now, i don't even give a fuck.
:D

sleep sweet

2008-11-25T13:16:00.000-08:00

I am here to quench your thirst
I am here to make it work
Nothing bad will ever happen
As long as I am here.

2008-11-20T00:34:00.000-08:00

He is happiest when she strokes his hair.

She reminds me of home.

2008-11-17T23:56:00.000-08:00

maa..

aaj mujhe darr lag raha hai.

galay laga lo maa

aur jo dukh aur koi nahin mitaa sakaa,

aaj apni mamta se mitaa do.

samait lo mujhe, sambhaal lo,

apni bahon mein mujhe zinda dafan kar do

pehle kyun nahin bataya ke ye duniya kaisi hai?

mujhe pata hota tou mein aati hee na..

2008-11-15T21:51:00.001-08:00

*cries into her pillow*

darling

2008-11-14T15:51:00.000-08:00

happy, happy, happiest birthday.

may every year be less painful than the last.

2008-11-11T21:31:00.000-08:00

the point is, there's no point in being the honey that lures the bees.

you're still walking home alone, baby.

the four F's of life

2008-11-08T08:30:00.000-08:00

1.Fighting

2.Fucking

3.Feeding

4.Fleeing

saathiya

2008-11-04T16:40:00.000-08:00

teri ik hansi ke badlay
meri ye zameen lei le..
mera aasman lei le..

its alright

2008-11-01T15:48:00.000-07:00

your mind makes me nervous
your thoughts make me feel bad

2008-10-30T21:27:00.001-07:00

oh the joys and wonders of pms.

how its ok if you suck the life out of everyone and everything who's trying to reason with you and not care.

how wonderful it feels to squish melted marshmallows with your tongue in your big cup of hot chocolate.

and then eat a whole bag of Lays right after

cough

2008-10-28T20:48:00.001-07:00

She stopped, mid-hum.
He looked up to see what interrupted the beautiful noise.
'Did you hear that?' she asked, frowning.
'.....Honey, why are you always hearing things?', he asked.
She shrugged.' I don't know. Guess I'm waiting for..a miracle or something'. She resumed her work.
This made him sad. He thought he was her miracle.

i can make you sway II

2008-10-26T17:31:00.000-07:00

Mani: fuck you, by the way.

for your love, and this helpless feeling.

it's so beautiful.

but it is so destructive.

i honestly have no idea what to do. no desire to do anything.

i don't want to go anywhere.

don't want to do anything

just want to sit here.

sit here and do nothing.

i might be wrong

2008-10-25T09:06:00.001-07:00

15 blows to the back of your head
15 blows to your mind

2008-10-13T08:53:00.001-07:00

I dream.
I dream so much, I end up clutching my bleeding heart in the morning.
My mind can't believe the images it stores then replays at a time when my body can do nothing to retaliate. Its painful feeling so helpless. Sleeping wide awake. Helpless.

Even now, so dizzy. So sleepy, but wide awake.
Helpless.

2008-10-08T22:16:00.000-07:00

He kisses every fingernail of her left hand.
'perfect'
'perfect'
'perfect'
'perfect'
'perfect'

cut the kids in half

2008-10-03T16:24:00.000-07:00

no peace. two favorite people gone.no peace.

carefree

2008-09-29T20:40:00.000-07:00

honay do dil ko fanaa

honay do dard ko tabaa.

2 am rant.

2008-09-25T22:39:00.000-07:00

I know it shouldn't matter. And it doesn't. I'm in love with a wonderful, talented, amazing young man. But its the differences in cliches that bring us together. I just want to look through the pockets of your skin and ask Who are you? What do you believe in? I want to not be lonely on rainy nights, I want you to not be stubborn, I want to not feel so defeated every time I think I can't complete a simple task. I want to sing to you, my love. The hollows of her eyes knock on my window pane and the kittens run for cover. The veins pop out but the stomach never goes in. Cigarette is coolness if smoked properly. Seem ponderous, caring about un-careful things. I want to not feel this torn between what? and why? and why not? I think about you in moonlit nights and the stars all seem to weep. The water is stale from sitting on a green table for too long. Little cobwebs decorate ignored corners of the room. Bedsheets have been washed, clothes picked off of the floor, surfaces anti-bacteriarised. And you still never came. The street light turns on and off at its own will. The rain won't stop, love, God is crying too much, He's so sad. Associating God with emotion is probably blasphemous on this early early Jumat-ul-Wida morning, but it makes me relate to Him more. Or Him to me, whichever comes first.

You are wrong for all the right reasons. And right for all the wrong.

the charm is wearing off

2008-09-25T20:57:00.000-07:00

Poo

I want to

2008-09-25T13:23:00.001-07:00

I want to be someone else, or I'll explode.

read my lips posed to speak

2008-09-23T19:29:00.000-07:00

no more pushing me around, thanks.

2008-09-22T19:08:00.000-07:00

<3

2008-09-21T13:37:00.000-07:00

My music is where, I'd like you to touch.

beens.

2008-09-17T20:37:00.001-07:00

Zh* says:
uffffffffff
Zh* says:
i'm going straight to hell
Zh* says:
BECAUSE HARAM IS SOOOO GOOOOOOD
Beenish says:
hai na?
Beenish says:
it's very "lead me not into temptation...because I can find the way myself"
Zh* says:
hahahhahahah

siwel

2008-09-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

WELL then. someone's finally come out of hiding and erased the entire 2008 out of their live's.

'pretty pink princess'

2008-09-15T11:34:00.001-07:00

stop being so yum.

Ferocity

2008-09-03T15:11:00.000-07:00

It comes from within.
15 more minutes and I know I'll be bugged. What I really really need to do is start writing about people and not gibberish that only I understand:
a) It worries my friends
b) It makes no sense
c) No one's going to ask me to write a book if I keep on like this.

Must ask Bran to give me his version of 'Down is the New Up'.

2008-09-03T09:24:00.000-07:00

I feel like busting my moves on this 4th floor of the James Cabell Library cuz its oh-so-quiet and I'm commando and I spell words in British even though I'm American. BAHA.

currently listening to : Eple by Royksopp.

2008-08-30T15:55:00.000-07:00

singin' This could be the day that I die,

This could be the day that I die'

gg xD

2008-08-28T08:52:00.000-07:00

For your ravished soul, I can only hope that there is a cure. That when you come back, you find as much dullness in the world as the world finds in you.

the city sunsets over me

2008-08-17T07:05:00.001-07:00

your kitchenette

2008-08-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

this is it.
a few hours more and all that will be left is empty closets and dusty books. remains that were unimportant, but that you will hold on to for dear life.
this is it.
i'm sorry,but i'm not coming back.

2008-08-13T21:15:00.000-07:00

He kissed H but had a cutout of K ready for decision day.
H blamed her mom.

you inspire me

2008-08-12T19:51:00.000-07:00

so i let go.

earth to bella

2008-08-04T12:49:00.000-07:00

When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? If your life was all you had to give your beloved, how could you not give it?
If it was someone you truly loved?

2008-08-02T19:59:00.000-07:00

i am SO MAD right now.
this is not what she deserves.
this is not what anyone deserves.

fuck you, you fucking cunt.
you fucking, fucking WASTE of SPACE.
i wish you never existed.
yes, its that bad.

cinammon girl

2008-07-31T16:54:00.000-07:00

It has to be mom.
No one else can l...
Limitations.
You are leaving, you are gone for good.
You told your friends, you'd never come back here again.
Stop.
What is your goal?
Remember: destroy thyself in achieving it.
Don't scare your soul, don't scream out loud.
This unfamiliar sofa is sooooo comfortable.
I worry people. Maybe I need a shrink after all?
I know I'm wrong. I must rest my eyes. Times like these make me forget composure. Make me forget who I am, who I want to be, what I want.

I can feel your body writhing in undescribable pain. Its never enough, is it?

'I' is nervous.
'I' bleeds through little holes.
'I' writes on the backs of important papers.
Oh well.
I can

2008-07-28T09:16:00.000-07:00

Each time, his beauty pierced me through with sadness.

2008-07-27T22:49:00.000-07:00

I want to go back to an uncomplicated happy.
this is complicated.

said the man to the lady

2008-07-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

I will always want the one guy who stands out like a thorn in the crowd.
Your typical shy introvert, who doesn't like to/doesn't know how to dance, who probably has some amazing superpower and is actually a lot of fun once you undo his strait jacket that society put on him.

True love will wait in haunted attics.

(--)

2008-07-23T19:49:00.000-07:00

Why must we hurt the ones closest to us?
The terrifying truth that no one else really gives a fuck.

2008-07-23T14:43:00.001-07:00

drink the pain you can't kick away.

vida

2008-07-21T05:02:00.000-07:00

This is good.
Constructive/destructive criticism is good.
Good for the mind, body and soul.

Now. Do I want to converse or go for a walk?
I mean of course there are many things to think about. And I've found out why I've stopped writing the way I used to. Everything is too boxed up. Pehle jo bhi tha, I was constantly surrounded by people, and their lives and hopes and dreams and inadequacies and all those sorts of things that you can steal and then write about. Sometimes they knew it was them, other times, not really.

And now that my writer's block has kicked in, I'm going to go devour ice cream.

2008-07-14T14:37:00.000-07:00

life is absolutely perfect right now.

or is it?

understatement

2008-07-10T05:57:00.000-07:00

That's it sir,
you're leaving
The crackle of pig skin
The dust and the screaming
The yuppies networking
The panic, the vomit
The panic, the vomit
God loves his children
God loves his children

2008-07-08T22:36:00.000-07:00

My friends make miracles possible every day.

backdrifting

2008-07-08T12:08:00.001-07:00

Write,write,write,write. I feel so paranoid, sticky, devoid.
Iwanttojustlieherewithmywriter'sblockanddreamcolorless.
I want to write meaningful 2 liners, I want to move you, to not share,
share,
share,
share, Aderol,obsessive compulsive.
Its not that,its just that I understand, I get it, like 3 billion other people in the world, I get it. Don't you understand? You with your buzz cut, you wandering aimlessly but not lost. My brain is moving and changing rainbow colors.
Conformity? No staying between the lines,biting nails, swallowing fists.Scatterbrain,butter fingers, oil oozing out of foods. Flexible dances, so many avenues to lie in front of, so many ancient doors to open. Green, glitter, frosty (bites?shakes?), Jack the Ripper, Rush Limbau (?), Film School, summer,pretty,pretty hot summer. Falsettos. All of them, Thom, Andy, Jonsi, Devendra. The bass line.
I think I'm very disturbed,or maybe its what I want to be? An icon. A fucking icon. Don't care how. Skinny, smokey, ponderous, mysterious. There is no way not to think,not to write,not to sing,not to try and be. My soul is outlining my body as I hum gibberish. My soul is trapping me, bottle-capping my pores, inhaling my air.
Don't look at me expectantly, I don't want to talk to you, I am in a world so far removed from this one.
Full of veins, antlers, roots,magical light,secret doors, pulsating air,vibrating music,and no one.
No one?
There is always someone.
Stop the thoughts,the thinking, I cannot...no..its...draining..eating,emptying.
*sigh*
stop.
Put me in a hole, or put me down.

The National Anthem

2008-07-07T21:42:00.000-07:00

Give me your Sunday Disney feeling.
Let us all just mesh into this wonderful nothingness we call life, lets just get together and be. I'll catch your tears and turn them into the rain that will fall on his face in glee, like dew from early morning leaves. Unset the standards, play your music for the fairies to dance to. Take your art and let the world be your canvas. We'll let the children pick wild berries, the animals wander in the distance. Let us, for a little while, forget about all the problems our elders have laid out for us and consider ourselves lucky to be alive.
Burst into flames.
Rise from the ashes.
Collect yourself in a necklace and let someone wear you.

2008-07-07T12:24:00.001-07:00

mom,dad Canada mein phass gaye hain.
BUAHAHAH.
i mean,what? no. poor things.
:)

The creative

2008-07-06T08:15:00.000-07:00

You are intent on making your mark at VCU, starting with your dorm room. Your roommate won’t have to worry about decorating because bare walls and empty bulletin boards don’t last long in your presence. You’ll find your inspiration on stage with Theatre VCU, on air through VCU InSight or in print at the Commonwealth Times. Stroll through Anderson Gallery on VCU’s Monroe Park Campus or down Broad Street to check out more arts and entertainment hotspots. Got an ear for music? Join the VCU Pep Band and funnel your talent into school spirit for VCU!

2008-07-05T21:00:00.001-07:00

The best 22nd [ =( ] birthday present ever would be to see Sigur Ros in New York.
I'd pay big bucks to be in their proximity.
Tickets go on sale God knows when.
So I'm just waiting for that to happen I guess.

current mood: Pitfalls by Film School

For M

2008-07-05T07:33:00.000-07:00

I'm staring out the window,at all the gum thats stained the concrete.Its a very gloomy,mechanical 5th of July.Very unlike a summer morning,dewy and grey.

Listen.Change does suck.
Childhood is the ease with which you sit on the floor.
'Life was easier when you could blame parents'.

2008-07-05T06:20:00.000-07:00

Can I live with you?
I'd be your cinnamon girl, make you happy for the rest of your life.

current mood: House Fire by Someone Still Loves You Boris Yelstin

optimistic

2008-07-02T16:18:00.000-07:00

God its this ache in my fingers. I just have to hold a pencil and I just have to write.Its so draining.Sometimes I have absolutely nothing to say,so I just write song lyrics.
Watched the EuroCup08 in Raleigh-Durham.Who-da thunk?Downed a $5 Heineken (fuck airport bars) and had all these ugly but adoring older men to talk to. The one on my left was half Spanish, half German (what a dilemma to be in) the one on my right wasn't really taking sides. Another man was on the same flight as I and he used to work for the Swedes which is how he got into soccer,and another one's son used to play for some club ( I forget which one) and now plays for Harvard.
Anyway, sports, music, food and anti-Bushism brings people together.
I remember pissing Schweinsteiger off in my dream and A is making fun of me and I say sulking ' Shit,my one German friend.How am I gonna go to Germany now?'
Waisay,why the fuck did I pick Germany? Of all the most glorious places on Earth, I picked Germany. Fuck me sideways. Not Sweden, not Holland, not Italy, Japan or even Africa. Germany. Jahan sirf larkiyan hot hoti hain. Na khana acha, na koi scenic beauty, no yum yum culture. Kasam se, ajeeb hee hoon mein.

p.s. guess what?

2008-07-01T21:19:00.000-07:00

I do things deliberately so they remind me of you. Wear black, buy peanut m & ms, listen to MGMT.
I like how my sex is strong enough to make you suck your lower lip in pleasure.

2008-06-27T21:54:00.000-07:00

I hate having a crush that I can do nothing about and then that person just stares at you with their big beautiful eyes and you blurt something stupid like 'Martians are green' and run away so they don't follow.

2008-06-27T15:39:00.001-07:00

I'm a reasonable man,
get off, get off, get off my case

boyz to men

2008-06-26T22:52:00.000-07:00

Am I pissed that I'm being blamed?
Yes.

In actuality, do I really care?
No.

Am I surprised that he's even making an effort?
Yes.

Do I love and trust B like I always have?
.....I'll get back to you on that.Just cuz I don't know who's side he's on. Not that sides matter, but he's been very judgmental lately and I don't think any 'best' friend would be ok with that.

Rips through the Silence

2008-06-26T22:46:00.000-07:00

Germany and Spain made it.
Schweinsteiger vs. Torres?
Fuck yeah.
Probably going to be late for work.Whatevs.Another 'occurence', whoop-di-do.

Way too many people telling me to watch out. And all I can think is...well...nothing.I have no reason, no person to blame. There is no other explanation other than I'm bored. Bored with having priorities,bored with being careful,bored with having a general sense of direction. I like having a mouth and a mind, and the ambition to use them together. Its nice to not care, for once. And anyway,like we both realized, this is the calm before the storm. The storm's coming and there's nothing we can do about it.

If I could have my way, I'd just write, paint, sing and photograph people for the rest of my life.

2008-06-26T22:30:00.000-07:00

Museebat kojay kalay hee kyun peechay partay hain?
a)I'm not Indian
b)I'm not Indian
c)No,I do not want to go out anytime soon.But yes,maybe I'll think about it, just to say no.

p.s. no touchy.

Winter fog,Summer heat.

2008-06-26T22:16:00.001-07:00

I should really take photography up again now that I have my camera back.Saw so many images that I could take a picture of.God I hope I haven't lost the touch.I just....I'm so tired and uninspired all the time.Its been eons since I last painted too.Work drains me, then moving out process drains me,then keeping up with this relationship drains me.Lacey once said 'You see beauty in the simplest things'. I just don't see things that simply anymore.
Age has set in.

2008-06-26T22:12:00.000-07:00

God give me strength, God give me patience. Make me realize that this is the maximum level of difficulty that I will have to go through. And if not, well then prescribe me some Aderol or Prozac.Cuz Jesus knows I expect more from me than is possible.

festival

2008-06-25T18:55:00.000-07:00

no more kisses at the airport.
no more fucking goodbyes.

he was patient,and stayed true

2008-06-23T23:55:00.000-07:00

2008-06-23T15:15:00.001-07:00

The only sounds in the Van Pelt-Dietrich Library Center are the ruffling of pages and shifting of positions on chairs or sofas.
And I have to fart really bad.

gobbledigook

2008-06-23T08:24:00.000-07:00

Philly reminds me of Lahore. There are always people on the streets,there's humidity everywhere,men wolf-whistling.
Sitting in S's apartment alone right now.A big fat horn noise woke me up,I don't know why she insists on leaving the windows open when the temperature is the same outside and in.Snooped around a bit in the pantry, in her closet, other general snooping entailed. There is lots of Van Gogh art (proof why we're friends,for so long even), random photographs, pictures of philly. A tiny-ish flag of Pakistan sits on top of the microwave,along with Twinings tea bags, shot glasses and plastic flowers.There is an 'Apple' sticker on almost every appliance.I ate most of her red Starbursts,I hope she doesn't notice.And anyway,there's only healthy stuff in her pantry.99% fat free minestrone soup, special K, e.v.o.o, grilled salmon and soy milk in her fridge. I got frozen palak paneer and parathas and other such gunky stuff to last me the while I'm here. I eat little, but I eat unhealthy.
I know this place is going to become unbearable in a couple of hours, so I'm going to Google nearby things and just go and explore. Forgot my camera at Chachoo's place,so exploring won't be as fun as I would've wanted it to be,but oh well. Must admit that the futon is not so heavenly comfortable and streaming Sigur Ros's new album is giving me an orgasm as we speak.
My dreams have been very unhealthy and almost biblical in meaning lately. I don't understand what the end of the world has to do with me. Why must I witness hurricanes and tornadoes and child labor and priests misguiding people for dinosaurs to eat them.Does it..

Oh I don't know.

Me and M are repairing ourselves.And just as I said that, I feel like we're still so far off from being repaired. Can't say things aren't slightly looking up though, bless telecommunication and Mamoo and M's patience to just get things done.I'm glad him and Esther don't write anymore. There was something just so eerily similar about their word order.

2008-06-21T20:20:00.000-07:00

British tampons can suck on my left nut.

2008-06-19T20:07:00.000-07:00

so knives out

2008-06-18T10:07:00.001-07:00

its in the way he says he loves
its never enough

dual/duel

2008-06-17T20:33:00.000-07:00

I've ran out of words to say
to make you go away
to drive you to insanity
to try and make you believe
how so very hard i am to read

keep the words
they are yours to have
anything to distract to make
you leave

I do love you,its not that
just tired of using you
my love has worn you out
made you a man
made you understand

we are like cookie dough
sweet to eat and sick in the stomach
the sugar clings to the cells
and gives us little heart attacks
every dying day

stop,leave,stop,leave,stop
just stay.