I know what it is why I never said anything.I was so scared you'd be embarassed about being with me.There was you,verbose,confident,walking with blatant maturation and then there was me.Who knew nothing about anything,and was happy that way.We were 'F' and 'V' from the alphabet,unable to fit and make sense.I would have put up with the ego,and the thin smile and all the hate in the world you would have thrown at me,for one day out of the year that you could feel my happy.A happy that involves no care except how well you're enjoying the fall afternoon breeze.A happy that seeps into other people and leaves them feeling like they just drank hot chocolate.A happy that comes home to nothing,but is content with the way the universe works.
A happy we would have created,with our own hands.That would bear fruit and give shade and shine in the Sun.
I am not ashamed to admit that our conversations left me pondering for days and days.You would be surprised to notice how much I've mentioned you in my writing.You've unconciously been sitting my mind for....God knows how long.Since I tried to get you to play tic tac toe the first time we met.Since the day you scoffed at me in front of a bus full of girls.Since.....since you bought me that necklace that I still have.I don't know what it means,what it all means,what anything ever meant.But to think that it meant something,is a bit reassuring.I was not alone like I thought I was.
And I would not have cared about my friends.I would not have cared about anyone if you had just said something.If only you had come to me with glazed donuts and iced coffee instead of it being the other way around.If only you'd have been vocal about things that mattered instead of things that didn't.If only.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Posted by Zh. at 8:52 PM